


But Coach, I Love Him!

by primaverala



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Drabble, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Not between Takeda and Ukai though, One Shot, Serial Killers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 10:57:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20906531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/primaverala/pseuds/primaverala
Summary: "Will you let me court Hinata Shouyou?" Ushijima, Shiratorizawa's captain bows deeply before Ukai's doorstep.Ukai blinks. Blinks again. Takeda pales frantically, cleaning his glasses to try and convince himself he is seeing something different. This can't be happening,Right?--In which Hinata and Ushijima concoct a plan, Takeda and Ukai learn their lesson, and that no, maybe murdering people is a bit not good.Based on the couple prompt: "[Ushijima & Hinata] are at home and hear a newsflash that [Takeda & Ukai] are out killing people on the streets. How do they stop them?"





	But Coach, I Love Him!

Hinata pales in horror, the realization splitting down him cold. Why would Sensei and Coach Ukai… He shakes, and Ushijima looks over to him, furrowing his eyebrows. “What?”

Hinata chokes, he’s not used to Ushijima living with him. He was forced to house Ushijima when Shiratorizawa came to the Miyagi prefecture because the training camp was hosted by Karasuno this year. Why they couldn’t just rent a hotel with their fancy big-school money is something Hinata constantly ponders about.

Ushijima was still looking at him, “Well?” Hinata blinked, the present coming back to him, and he felt his stomach cramp. “Well… You know my coaches, right?” Ushijima nodded stoically. “Yes. Coach Ukai, and, um?” “Takeda” Hinata finished, trying to shove down the want to pout at that. He didn’t even really know the coaches that hosted the camp he’s currently at? How rude!  
“Well, they’re murderers.” Ushijima’s face lifted, as much of a surprised expression you can get out of him, Hinata supposes. “And I don’t know what to do! I mean…” Hinata buried his face in his hand, trying to will himself not to cry. Not in front of his rival, jesus…  
Hinata looked up at Ushijima, who got off the couch. “Has the police caught them yet?” Hinata shook his head, a frown tugging on his lips. He avoided the stare of Ushijima, what was he going to do? Get the Karasuno team disbanded? No!...  
Ushijima starts to go towards the door, Hinata ignores him, wiping his eyes. “Well, come on,” Hinata eyes snapped up to Ushijima, growing confused, “We got a plan.”

Ukai didn’t know how in the fuck him and Takeda-sensei became like this… He wishes he could take it back, but damn does Takeda look good with a gun in his hand. See his moral struggle now? It’s something so thrilling, even if he swore he would never be like that in a million years. The thought of murder never graced his mind. But now….  
Takeda sat down, gracefully reclining on the chair. He crossed one leg over another, rolling his head back as he untied his tie with nimble fingers. Ukai licked his lips, imagining what would…

‘Ding-dong!’ Ukai turned to the door, out of his musing wet dreams. Sadly. Takeda also got up, confused on what was going on. Did they get caught? He and Takeda still haven’t fucked yet! This can’t happen now! With shaking fingers he opens the front door….

To see Hinata and Ushijima. Ukai relaxes. Oh.

Oh. Great, is Hinata coming to complain? He already told the first year that he didn’t decide which Shiratorizawa players were hosted by their families. Ukai sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose, before noticing….

Were they holding hands? 

Ukai squinted, then squinted again. Was he seeing this correctly? Looking out of the corner of his eye, apparently Takeda-sensei didn’t either, currently cleaning his glasses with his shirt sleeve frantically, his face growing pale once he put them back on.

Ukai blinked. “Yes?” Hinata smiled, and Ukai felt his sixth adult sense (it only worked with this team of delinquents, apparently…) pick up on something wrong. What…?

“So, I’ve been thinking, and…” Ukai glanced at how Hinata reaffirmed his grip on Ushijima’s hand, and how the Ace reassuringly squeezed the boy’s hand. Ukai blanched, this close to telling the Shiratorizawa Captain to get off his property and to stop touching Hinata, dammit. 

“Well. I’ve heard you should ask first.. Sooo.” Ushijima made a noise low in his throat, and Hinata turned to him, flashing him a smile. “Ukai-sensei, Takeda-sensei, may I please court Shouyou? I know this may seem out of place, but with my time together with him… I’ve certainly changed my view on who he is.” He gave a smirk to Hinata, who turned, in the way a 15 year old (that he is, Ukai realizes in blatant horror) would, blushing demurely at the young man’s insinuation.

Ukai grasped the door, about to throw him off his property, not before getting Hinata inside though. Who knows what this asshole would do if him and Takeda weren’t there?.... Ukai paled, what did that bastard already do to Hinata is the question.

Hinata bowed. “But yes, Sensei! Please tell me you’ll accept this?” Ukai wanted to bash his head against the wall, maybe he’s hallucinating? Takeda was still silent, looking at the… Couple, blankly.

Ushijima turned to Hinata, “How about you go on towards home, and I can ask them myself? I’ll be right home.” Ushijima laid a hand on Hinata’s fluffy, ginger hair, ruffling it. Hinata leaned into it, like a dog would to it’s master, smiling warmly. “See you at home, Ushiji-chan!” The boy ran off, a spring in his step as he went towards “their house”

Ushijima looked at the boy go, before turning to the two teachers, leaning on his forearms, boxing his frame against the door. Ukai leaned towards Ushijima, staring down the captain. He knows he shouldn’t get into fights with students, but he was absolutely willing too in this case, rolling up his sleeves. Who knows what this asshole did! If he touched… Raped, Hinata. 

“Look,” Ukai growled, “I know what you are thinking. But no. We’re not going out.” Ukai stilled, and he could feel Takeda tense against him. “At all. Not at all, trust me. But… This is just a warning, Hinata… Has been interested,” Ukai glared at Ushijima, this couldn’t be fucking true, right? “And let’s just say…. If you don’t stop what you both are doing, I might take him up on it.”

And with that, Ushijima left, awkward as the menacing look off his face fell into blankness, briskly walking out. And Ukai stared, and stared.

Takeda breathed out, a large exhale that sounded whispery. Ukai turned to him, still stunned. He saw a face that probably looked like his- Takeda’s face slack and pale, “I think it’s time…” Takeda whispered, unable to finish his sentence.

“To stop.” Ukai finished it for him.

Yeah, that sounded good.

I mean, you can still fuck even if you’re not partners-in-crime, right?

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if Ushijima is ooc I don't read the manga or have finished season 3 haa-


End file.
